Become a Sales Pro

July 14, 2020

We closed on the house yesterday. One thing down, several more hurdles to jump. Still no word on my passport even though I called my state rep assistant again today. She asked me to give her a few days. That’s the polite way of asking me to back off and leave her alone. I let her know that we are trying to book our flights and we will need to know if I get to be included with our family leaving or not.

Then it brings me to the next fear. Imagine if I do pull it off and we do all book our tickets and me or someone in my family gets the virus and we go down for the count. This is very possible. Yesterday we wore our masks into the building to close our house, but somehow all of us ended up taking them off and sitting in a conference room with eight people at the table signing documents and not arming ourselves. I felt guilty and terrible the whole time but also knew that the moment I took that mask off whatever was to be would be. I am trying to be smart and safe, and at the same time, I have some things that really need to get done.

Covid takes away the sense of taste and smell. Something else has numbed out on me though; basically everything else. I feel somewhat numb, overwhelmed, and shutting down. I have nothing left to give. I feel so much pressure to get my sales numbers up on my recent book and all it feels like I don’t even know what to do with it all. The truth of it really is, it’s all a numbers game. If I had numbers in the form of cash in my pocket, I could pay people to get my stuff out there. Right now, I feel frivolous and fruitless. Sales and marketing are the antithesis of the writing and creative process of writing a book and it sucks that I have to learn to become an expert at both. So, in this moment, I will pout at the prospect of having to change careers and learn to be a marketing, sales and advertising exec on behalf of my book. My new publisher gave me a much better advance. It’s not high, but it’s much better than what I’ve had before. On this next book, I will hand that money right over to the publicist.

I’m not jealous of many people or of many things, especially in light of the amazing and bountiful blessings that have been bestowed upon our family, but people who have big sales teams pushing their book promo’s make me very envious. That is simply a truth I cannot deny.

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