A Hop, Skip and a Move to Malta

July 3, 2020

I have always been too attached to my mother to leave home for too long. However, being married now and a mother myself, I have to put my own family first. This requires me to step into my own power and make choices for the good of all in my home. I am being called to become brave. Dreaming and fantasizing about leaving here and starting new in a foreign land is one thing, but actually getting the chance to step out and do it? That is something else entirely. What will it be like to move halfway across the world in a land I’ve never even seen before? I’m about to find all of this out for myself.

What does it look like to move out of the country to a place sight unseen during a world pandemic? What does it feel like to be living in a new country, surrounded by the Mediterranean Sea with foods that are far healthier in its making? What does it smell like to breathe in air infused by the sea? Since I have never actually seen the Mediterranean Sea in real life, what color are the waters? What does it taste like when I finally go to my first farmers market and pick fresh…everything? What will it feel like to leave the only home I’ve ever known, uproot my family: my husband, myself, our children and all four of our beloved pets?

What will I miss about America? What will I embrace coming into Malta? These are the things my wildest dreams and fantasies have been made up of. Up and moving to a foreign country that still speaks English, is a healthier culture, cleaner, healthcare is included, Monsanto and GMO’s are banned, the sea is minutes away from anywhere on the island, and for the first time in our lives, it will be us that will be the foreigners. Humbling, insightful, exciting and incredible curiosity illuminates every cell of my being. Providing my passport renewal shows up in time, I leave exactly one month from the time of writing this sentence. What will all of this be like to uproot everything? And how hard will this be to navigate as the USA is now considered a ‘dirty country’ due to the way it has handled the pandemic and the European Union has officially closed its borders to this country? And rightfully so in their stance against the way we’ve not handled this pandemic.

When I walk outside my door, every place is open, packed and very few people are donning their masks. Being that I live right by the Cancer Centers of America, I used to see a precious few people wearing a mask, and usually it accompanied a bald head. We knew that these people were fragile. We knew that they were trying to survive the hardest tragedy of their lives. We didn’t question whether it was safe or not for any of them to wear a mask. It was never turned into a protest. Now that the masses are asked to wear a mask to protect other people from this new virus, Covid-19, it has become wildly political and people believe they are supporting our government and Evangelical Christian brothers and sisters by proving that God will protect us and therefore we have no need to be sheeple (sheep people) as they call it.
It is a terrifying time in history and I won’t lie, it is a terrifying time to be living in the deep south right now. People carry their guns right out in the open. You no longer have to question if someone is carrying. Most of the people I have seen in real life carrying a gun are the same people who refuse to wear a mask. It sort of goes hand in hand and it’s scary. Our political climate is the most volatile I’ve ever seen. It is a clear divide among party lines in our country right now and the virus is going to cost so many lives because of the massive amount of conflicting information that everyone is calling facts. We have no idea who to believe anymore, but I do know I don’t feel comfortable or safe banking on anyone in politics to lead the way at this juncture.

My trust in our system is totally lost. Everyone has abandoned ship and it feels like we are required to take hard sides on every issue. I’m so tired of this climate. I used to think I lived in the greatest country in the world. Now I am left wondering if all the time I was looking outside this space and imagining the most corrupt governments out there, if it wasn’t us all along. Our government is bought and paid for. The right Republican side is owned by the NRA (National Rifle Association) and the left Democrats are bought and owned by Big Pharma. Neither of this bodes well for the actual people they pretend to serve.

I can’t wait to feel safe enough to allow my children back into school and know that they won’t be doing active shooter drills in Malta like they have to do in America. We have become so violent, so full of rage, so full of ignorance and facts and science no longer hold value. Everything is a cover up, everything feels like a scandal. Facts aren’t even real facts anymore at this point. Whoever is paying for the data dictates who is doing the research. Everything has become a ‘pay to play’ game and it is costing everyone their lives. At the very least, it is most certainly costing all of us the quality of our lives. It is all just too much.

I’ve wanted to leave for a long time. I realize that it’s easy to say “then get out of our country if you don’t love it!” but it’s not that simple or viable as a real option. It’s not easy to up and move because you have to have a work visa and allowance into other places in order to make that dream a reality. We are finally getting that dream realized. My husband’s company is allowing us the opportunity of a lifetime. I intend to take full advantage of it and step fully into something better than what I’m currently experiencing. I have wanted to experience life in a GMO-free country where I don’t have to fear and question the level of poison that has been sprayed on my food and the food I give to my family. I have read so many articles on how children behave so differently and become so much healthier once those toxins have been removed from their diet. To be in a place where well-care as opposed to sick-care is the baseline for healthcare is extremely exciting to me. To know everyone will have access to healthcare as well as an option to purchase private care is extremely important to me.

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